See You Again
by theBuffster
Summary: Post Shanshu. Buffy's search for Angel.   Guys, this is my first fanfic and I'm new so no making fun of me.
1. Chapter 1: Knowing

It's been like ages since she last saw him. She missed him _so bad. _Now that she knew he was human, the first thought she had in mind was to go visit him- if she knew where he was, that is. She had known him for years and yet it's like she didn't have the guts to face him. _I don't even know where he is, _she thought, disappointed.

She knew that Angel had been human for years now. And she never knew what he had done as an "Average Joe", or what food he likes to eat now that he can taste all of them, or how he feels like walking under the sun... Hopefully with her.

Buffy always thought that it was now _really_ impossible for her and Angel to be together again. And again, it always had been. She sighed and closed her eyes wondering how it would have been like with Angel now that he's a normal person.

A new Slayer was called.

Buffy didn't know how and why but it just happened. Maybe the Council thought she was useless and they couldn't count on her anymore. And she didn't give a damn about that. Maybe a little but on the bright side, she can now give herself a good rest from her deadly job.

Now, she's here sitting by the window of her apartment, watching the cars passing by, hearing the typical street noises, hoping for a glimpse of Angel. _Like that's even possible, _she thought. She rolled her eyes and snorted at the silly thought she just had.

She glanced back at her small apartment with her tired eyes. Buffy sighed and bit her lip. She stood up from her place by the window and ran a hand through her beautiful blonde hair. She walked to her kitchen, opened the fridge and drank the OJ that has been stored there for days.

She closed the fridge and sat down on the table. Buffy glanced down at her living room, her eyes drifting to the phone sitting on the small table besides the small couch.

Buffy stared at the phone.

The phone rang without warning causing Buffy to jump. Well, all phones ring without warning... unless you were told. Anyway, she waled over to the phone and picked it up, placing it besides her ear.

"Hello," Buffy said.

"Buffy."

Buffy sighed. "What is it, Giles?"

"I, uh, have some news on Angel."

At the sound of his name, Buffy stiffened. "Spill, now!"

Giles cleared his throat over the phone. "Well, he's, uh, turns out he's been staying somewhere in New York."

Buffy blinked. "New York?"

"Yes. I believe that was what I told you."

"How'd you find out?," Buffy asked as she sat down on the couch. This subject is really interesting her.

"Well, a man told me. I believe he calls himself... Whistler? Yes, Whistler. He said he knew where Angel was."

"Of course. Whistler," Buffy sighed. "Where is he?"

"He left already. He was here yesterday and I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to inform you sooner."

"It's alright, Giles. At least now I know where Angel is," said Buffy, feeling a little happiness now. "Thank you, Giles. It really means a lot. I mean, _really._"

Giles sighed on the other end. "I know. You're welcome, Buffy. I really hope you find him."

"I really hope that too," Buffy sighed. "Okay, I'm gonna go off now. Thanks, again, Giles."

"Anytime, Buffy. And be careful."

Buffy smiled at his over protectiveness. "I will be."

"Goodbye."

"Bye," Buffy said as she put down the phone. She leaned back on the couch and smiled. "Angel," she whispered.


	2. Chapter 2: Angel

Buffy woke up at the sound of her alarm clock.

_7:00 AM, _it says.

She got up from bed and sat at the end. She put her face against her palms breathing lightly. Buffy stretched her arms and yawned. She rubbed her eyes slightly, trying to get the blurry sight away.

Buffy walked to her bathroom and turned on the shower. She stepped in and took a quick warm shower. And, boy, Angel was on her mind all the time. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall avoiding the water that was falling. Buffy sighed and calmed down.

After a few minutes, she finished and wrapped a soft towel around herself. She went into her bedroom and put on some clothes. Then she looked at herself in front of the mirror. She smiled.

* * *

><p>She sat on the kitchen chair sipping a cup of coffee, thinking of how she will get to Angel not that she knew where he was. She sipped again but nothing went into her mouth. She looked down on her cup seeing that she already finished it.<p>

"Okay," she mumbled to herself. She sighed loudly and went over to the sink to wash the empty cup. She returned the cup to its proper place and went into the living room.

Buffy glanced at the phone beside her. She chewed on her lower lip. She wanted to call Giles.

"Psh! It's just Giles. He's not like he's gonna kill me, right?," Buffy told herself as she picked up the phone and dialed Giles' number.

She waited...

"Hello," said the Englishman.

"Giles," she breathed.

"Oh, Buffy! Hello. Can I help you?," Giles asked.

"Duh." She paused. "Anyway, uh, I was thinking of going to New York today. You know, seeing the human Angel?"

"Oh. Uh, th-that would be good for you to see Angel again. Are you going with someone?"

"No. I'm planning to go alone. But the reason I called is, uh, I was wondering if you have his number."

Giles fixed his glasses, though, Buffy can't see him. "Oh, I, uh, unfortunately, I don't. I'm sorry, Buffy. And I'm sorry I don't know where he is _exactly._"

"It's okay," Buffy said, shrugging her shoulders. "It's not like New York could be that big."

* * *

><p>Buffy stared at the big buildings and all the busy people passing by. She had no idea where to start looking for Angel.<p>

"Seriously?," she whispered. "Okay. Maybe New York is _big._"

Suddenly, a guy bumped into her.

"Oh!," they said in unison.

The guy looked at her. "Watch where you're going, kid!," the guy said then walked off.

"Sorry!," Buffy called after him. Buffy pouted and walked away from the busy part of NY.

She sighed a sigh of relief as she reached a place where only a few people were walking by. It was almost deserted.

Buffy just walked and continued looking at the apartments she was passing by. There were too many! How could she find Angel in a place like this? She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. Then her eyes wandered around until she found a bench.

"Thank God!," she said then walked over to sit down.

Then suddenly, she heard her stomach grumble. She raised her eyebrows and sighed.

She stood up and went to a nearby diner to get her stomach to shut up.

* * *

><p>Buffy carefully chewed her pancakes and sipped her iced tea. She glanced around the room full of strangers- again, hoping to see Angel accidentally.<p>

She laughed silently and bitterly. "Like that's gonna happen," she said to herself.

The moment she got out of the diner, shivers went down her spine and that familiar tingling sense made her body soften. She smiled.

Angel was near.

So she started to run to different places, glancing at every single space. She was so happy and so nervous about this. She didn't know what to say once she finds him. If ever.

At a distance, she heard laughing or giggling.. whatever. Someone was laughing. She followed where the laughing was coming from- a small park.

Finally, she stopped as she saw a couple, fooling around like kids. Shivers went down her spine, again.

She continued to look at the couple but she couldn't quite see them. So, she took a few steps forward but still keeping the distance as far as possible. Buffy seriously didn't want people to think that she was stalking them.

Suddenly, the laughing guy turned around, his face facing Buffy.

"Angel," she said, barely a whisper.


	3. Chapter 3: Comfort From A Stranger

A single tear trickled down her cheek. She stood frozen to the ground and her heart was breaking into a million pieces- almost literally.

He was happy. Angel was happy with somebody else. She was beautiful. Brunette, tall and not tiny like her. She looked so happy with Angel too.

The sight of Angel and another girl just made her feel so sick. She felt like she was falling and everything else was fading to black and she could only see Angel. He was smiling at the girl he was with.

Buffy began to run away. She didn't know where to go. Did it matter? It didn't matter. She just wanted to be away from Angel and his... girl. Whoever she was, Buffy was thankful that she made _her_ Angel happy and contented. That was what she always wanted for him. To be happy... but with her and not another girl.

She continued to run and cry...

* * *

><p>Angel, on the other hand, stopped laughing when he felt that shiver down his spine. <em>Buffy, <em>he thought. The girl held her firmly because he looked like he was going to fall.

"You okay, Angel?," the girl asked.

Angel just nodded and smiled down at her. "I'm alright. Y'know what? Let's just sit down for a while," he said as he led her to a bench.

"Okay," the girl said.

They sat down the bench and watched the other couples at the park.

Angel just looked down at his hands entwined with the girl's.

"Angel."

He looked at the girl.

"Are you sure you're alright? You look like something's bothering you," the girl said in a concerned voice.

Angel smiled. "I'm okay, Ash. Just fine."

Ash smiled back. "If you say so."

Angel held Ash's hand tighter and they just sat there looking at each other lovingly.

"What?," Ash asked coyly.

"Nothing. It's just... you look beautiful," Angel whispered but loud enough for the both of them to hear.

"Liar," Ash said jokingly. Then they both laughed lightly.

"Why would I lie to you about that? You _are_ beautiful, Ash."

Ash blushed slightly and smiled at Angel. "Thank you."

* * *

><p>Buffy sat against a brick wall near the lake she reached. There were only a few people around her and she was glad no one noticed her crying. Otherwise, it would be quite embarrassing.<p>

The picture of Angel and the girl just kept on playing endlessly on her head and she can't get them out of it. She grabbed her hair angrily and tried to get Angel out of her head. She was so frustrated and it's like she wanted to kill herself right now.

She was still crying hard and it even got harder when their memories together started to flash in her mind. She started to grunt silently but nothing she did helped her to get those pictures out of her mind.

"Excuse me," she heard someone say.

She sniffed and quickly wiped her tears away. Buffy looked up at the man who was crouching in front of her. She stared at him with her puffy red eyes.

"Are you okay?," the guy asked cautiously. "You look like you've been crying all day."

Buffy sniffed again. "I'm fine," she choked out.

The guy gave her a small smile and shook his head lightly. "You don't look fine." He stood up and offered a hand to Buffy. "Come on."

Buffy looked up and gave the guy a small smile and finally reached for his hand, helping her to her feet. "Thanks," she whispered silently.

"It's alright." He paused and looked down at Buffy. "I'm Tom. Levin," the guy said, holding out his hand to her.

Buffy took it and shook it lightly. "Buffy. Summers."

Tom smiled. "Buffy. That's an unusual name. Unusual but pretty."

"I get that a lot. But... thanks, anyway."

Tom smiled. "So... what's with the breakdown you had earlier?"

Buffy looked up at him. "It's personal and I really have to go."

"Oh. Of course. It's nice meeting you," Tom smiled.

"You, too. And thanks for... pulling me out of my heartbreaking thoughts. Tom," she replied.

"No problem."

"Okay. Well, I'll be going now. Bye," Buffy said and turned to walk away.

"Bye!," Tom called. He watched as Buffy walked away from him. He smiled to himself and turned around to the opposite direction.


	4. Chapter 4: Didn't See That Coming

Buffy walked home silently. Well, duh, it's not like she knew anybody, right? No. She's new to the New York environment and the first thing she receives is heartbreak. That is so stupid.

Anyway, Buffy continued to walk to the building of the apartment she was staying in. She only had been staying here for two days and yet it's like so much had already happened to her.

She got into the elevator and it stopped on her floor. Buffy walked out and headed to her apartment.

* * *

><p>Once she was inside she threw her keys to the nearest table and grumbled while walking into the kitchen.<p>

"Stupid Angel," she said angrily. "Is he even worth it?" She paused for a moment and shrugged. "Well, he is worth it but... Agghhh! Damn it! What did I do wrong?," she complained.

Buffy calmed down a little and grabbed a piece of cake from the fridge.

She looked down at her cake. "You are so lucky you don't have a love life like I do," she told her cake. Then she ate a mouthful of cake and just gnaw at it with full strength to let go of her anger. She swallowed greedily and got a glass of water. Again, she swallowed it quickly she almost choked. She placed the glass down at the table angrily causing it shatter into pieces.

She hissed in pain as little shards of the glass made its way through the skin of her hand. Then she realized she was bleeding.

Buffy winced at the pain as she stood up, making her way to the sink. She washed her bloody hand and wrapped it in a small piece of cloth. Then, she remembered how Angel would always help her cover up her wounds.

She felt that sudden ache in her heart at the moment of nostalgia. She gritted her teeth and yelled.

"Hey!," someone screamed at a distance. He sounded pretty annoyed at Buffy's sudden outrage.

"Sorry...," she whispered. Buffy sighed and cleaned up her plate. After the plate, she cleaned up the broken shards of glass.. then she remembered her broken heart. She thought what her shattered heart looked like.

She pulled the thought out of her head. It would probably look like someone cut her heart to minces. Eew. Totally gross. It's like buying meat in the market. With all that blood...

She shook her head. "Stop it!," she chastised herself.

* * *

><p>She slipped into one of Angel's shirts. She decided to wear it since it's huge enough to pass for her dress. She also loved the smell of it. Wow, it's kinda weird smelling a guy's shirt.<p>

Suddenly, Angel walked into their bedroom and caught the sight of Ash in his shirt. "Whoa."

Ash's eyes flew to Angel and she smiled. "I hope you don't mind."

"Nope. Not at all," he said, shaking his head lightly. "It's okay."

Ash blushed and look down. "Thanks. I just... wanted to wear it."

"Seriously. It's fine," Angel confirmed. Then he took her into his arms and kissed her on the lips. Angel pulled away reluctantly. "Let's get some sleep. Okay?"

"Okay," Ash said lovingly.

"Come on."

Then the couple slipped under the covers and waited for sleep to come.

Angel looked down on Ash and he noticed that she was already fast asleep. He smiled down at her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Then, he turned to face the other side of the bed, his back facing Ash. He suddenly thought of that shivering moment he had earlier. It was familiar and he knew it was Buffy.

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He swallowed while he thought of her. He hated himself for ignoring the feeling he had earlier. He knew it was Buffy yet he ignored it.

Angel really wanted to see Buffy. But then again, he was with Ash and he always knew he was happy with her... Or maybe he was just trying to convince himself? He didn't know how he felt towards Ash but he was happy, though. Maybe not the happy he had with Buffy but he_ is_ happy. It's just... some part of him is not yet complete.

Should he go look for Buffy or just leave her miserable for the rest of her life? Angel didn't want Buffy to be miserable but... he already had Ash.

And they were getting married.

Soon.


	5. Chapter 5: Going After What You Lost

Buffy was up early and now eating her hearty breakfast. She was so hungry and of course, who wouldn't be?

She drank a glass of OJ and ate a bowl of Honey Stars. Yummy? Yes.

Now, she was thinking of leaving New York and heading back to L.A. What was she here for? Heartbreak? Maybe. But no. She was here to reclaim Angel. To make their lives normal. But then again, they tried everything they could to achieve normal. It may have worked once but it would never happen again. Especially to Buffy.

Buffy had no one in her life right now. Now, that Spike was gone and now Angel is too. Not literally, that is. She actually saw him in 3D with another girl in his arms.

She closed her eyes, trying to fight those tears to come out.

She wondered if she'll ever see him again... But, hey, why not? All things are possible right?

Buffy nodded in agreement to herself. "I'm gonna look for him."

* * *

><p>"Angel!," Ash yelled from the kitchen.<p>

"Yeah?," said Angel while getting up from bed. He went into the kitchen. "What is it?"

"I'm going to work now. Okay?"

Angel nodded and grinned. "Okay. Take care."

He took her into his arms and kissed her hungrily.

"Angel. I'm gonna be late," Ash murmured against his lips.

Then they both pulled away.

"Sorry."

Ash shrugged and gave him a peck on the lips. "Bye. Love you."

Angel watched her walk out of the apartment. "Bye!"

He sighed and walked to the window. He stared down hoping for a glimpse of Buffy. He snorted.

"Like that's gonna happen," he whispered to himself.

He looked at the clock. He realized that he has a day to himself.

He nodded. "I'm gonna look for her."

Then he smiled.

* * *

><p>"This is even harder than I thought," said Buffy. She had been walking all over NY for 3 hours just searching for Angel.<p>

She searched for the diner she was in yesterday. And luckily, she didn't have much trouble finding it. She actually got there in a jiffy.

She entered the diner and gave out a sigh of relief as the cold air coming from the AC washed through her body.

Buffy approached an empty table and sat on the soft chair. Her legs were killing her and the heat was making her dizzy. Thank God the AC is on. Otherwise, she would have been attacked by a heatstroke. Nobody wanted that right?

Along with the cold was that shivers going down her spine and she felt her stomach do flip flops.

"Okay, Buffy. Calm the hell down. It's not like he followed you here," she whispered to herself. Then she glanced at the glass doors of the diner and there he was. "Angel...," she said to herself. Her breath caught up in her throat and it couldn't get out. She thought she was gonna choke to death at the moment.

And who could deny the fact that Angel was breathtaking? No one.

Not even Buffy. Not even when he broke her heart.

* * *

><p>Angel felt the same tingling sense once he stepped inside the diner. He knew it was <em>her.<em>

He knew it was Buffy.

Angel swallowed hard. _Oh, God. Oh, God. She's here. What the hell?, _he thought nervously. So he tried to ignore the feeling he had. Just like he did yesterday.

He approached a table and sat down. He glanced around him, hoping to see Buffy. His eyes wandered around and stopped when he saw her.

_She's so beautiful. Still so beautiful, _Angel thought as his eyes landed on the gorgeous blonde sitting alone across the room, slowly eating her food.

When he realized she was alone, his heart ached. His breathing stopped. He knew he was the reason why she was alone. Unless, she's was with another man. And the thought of that just made him sick.

Sort of.

He didn't want to worry about Buffy because he knew she'll just retort that she can take care of herself and she didn't need anyone. But then again, he wanted to know if she really can.

"Sir?," the waiter asked, pulling him out of his thoughts and his eyes drifting away from Buffy. "Are you ready to order, sir?"

Angel glanced back at Buffy's table, only seeing that she was already ready to leave. "Uh, I, not yet."

The waiter nodded at him. "Very well, sir. Just tell us if you're ready to order and we'll be with you right away."

And with that the waiter walked over another table.

* * *

><p>Angel's eyes glanced back at Buffy who was now headed for the door. He didn't know if she saw him. Or even knew he was here. Was he going to go after her? Or will he just leave her alone again?<p>

He rolled his eyes and ran after Buffy and grabbed her arm.

"Ow!," yelped Buffy as Angel gripped her arm. She turned around and her emerald eyes immediately glued to his dark ones. "Angel?," she choked out in a bare whisper.

Angel looked down at her. "H-hi," he stuttered.

"What are you doing?," she asked annoyed. "Let go of me!"

Angel quickly let go of her so she wouldn't get mad but she was so quick, she was already out the door running. He didn't even notice.

So, he ran after her.


	6. Chapter 6: Holding Onto Her

"Buffy!," he yelled while running after her.

He wasn't that far from her so he rapidly, without trouble, caught up with her. He wrapped his strong arms around her tiny waist.

"Let go of me!," yelled Buffy as she started to flail in his arms.

"I'll let go of you if you don't run away!," Angel reasoned.

Buffy continued to struggle out of his arms like a little kid and Angel just watched in amusement. She was still so strong and determined for a tiny person. "Angel! Stop it, will you?," she yelled.

"Not if you behave!," he said as he continued to hold her firmly.

"Fine! I'll behave! Now let go!" She paused as she felt tears form behind her eyes. "You're hurting me," she said in a broken voice.

Angel's heart broke at the last part he heard. So, he carefully placed her down on her feet and looked at her cautiously.

Buffy panted then turned back to Angel. "What do you want?," she asked him, irritated.

He didn't answer her. He just stared at how gorgeous she still is.

"What?," she snapped as tears forced their way out of her eyes.

"I-," Angel said quietly.

Buffy snorted. "I should have known you wouldn't say anything."

"I don't know what to say," Angel whispered.

"Then don't. You're just wasting your time on me," with that, she started to walk away from him.

Angel stared at her back.

"Buffy."

Buffy stopped her tracks and turned back to Angel. "What now?," she asked tiredly.

Angel walked towards her slowly.

But then, Buffy raised her hand to stop him. "Don't."

Angel's lips parted in surprise. "Why not, Buffy?"

"I just… Just don't come near me, okay? I've had enough of this."

"Enough of what?," Angel asked, getting annoyed at her too.

"All of it!," Buffy snapped at him. Her eyes formed a little amount of tears she couldn't fight. She looked down at her feet to hide her teary eyes. She didn't want to cry in front of Angel. It was embarrassing.

* * *

><p>After a few moments, Angel looked down at her. He walked closer to her-<em> to comfort her<em>- despite her protests earlier. She needed comfort and Angel knew that.

He heard tiny sobs come out of her. So he quickly took her into his arms and ran his fingers through her blonde hair. He held onto her and took in the amazing strawberry scent that her hair gave off. He missed it so much.

Buffy held onto him, leaning her head against his broad chest as her tears start to seep through his shirt.

Angel felt the tears she let out. But he didn't mind. Buffy really needed someone at the moment. Someone who _still _cares.

He whispered soothing words against her hair. "It's going to be alright, Buffy. Don't cry."

Buffy slightly pulled away from him but he was still holding her. She looked up to his dark eyes with her now puffy red ones. "You don't know that," she whispered in a sad tone.

Angel smiled softly and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ears so he could see her clearly. "I don't."

Buffy forced herself to lean against his chest again and Angel welcomed her into his arms without any hesitation.

Angel held onto her tiny body firmly but gently. He leaned his cheek against her soft hair and closed his eyes while her heart was breaking alongside his.

And he didn't even think of letting go of her.


	7. Chapter 7: Should I Give Up?

After a few moments, Angel led Buffy to a bench and sat with her. He kept on stealing glances at her because she looked liked she didn't want to talk about anything. She just kept on looking down at her hands and at her feet. He can see that she was really _broken._ And he blamed himself for it.

He sighed loudly and stood up. It caught Buffy's attention and looked up at him with her tired eyes.

Angel looked back down at her. "That's it! What's it gonna take you to talk?"

Buffy clenched her jaws and stared up at him. "Try not to be rude, Angel. I may not be the Slayer anymore but I still have all the strength to kick your ass."

"You're not?," Angel asked, confused. "What do you mean you're not the Slayer?"

Buffy sighed and shifted on the bench. "Giles told me that the Council replaced me. I'm guessing they think I'm already rotten and useless. And I'm okay with it!" She paused and blinked. "Well, sort of."

"You're not useless, Buffy," he told her as he sat back beside her again.

"You're just saying that 'cause you feel sorry for me," she said while looking at him.

"For one thing, yeah. But I'm also saying that because you _are not_ useless at all. You're... amazing."

They looked at each other.

Buffy quickly looked away and tried to hide her burning cheeks. "I'm not amazing."

Angel chuckled at her stubborn attitude. "You are. And believe me, I know."

She looked back at him and smiled gratefully. "Thanks. It really means a lot coming from you. I haven't heard someone tell me that for years."

"What do you mean? You haven't had anyone in your life? These past few years?"

Buffy shook her head. "No one."

"I don't understand, Buffy. You're an amazing girl. Guys fall head over heals for you all the time. Why wouldn't anyone be want to be with a girl like you?"

"Because they don't see how amazing I am. And I figured you were the only one who could... or Spike for some reason."

Angel sighed. "Spike. How... how is he?"

Buffy closed her eyes as she remembered Spike dying to save the world and her. "He's gone," she managed to choke out.

Angel dropped his head and sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't hear anything from you or the gang in years."

"Well, we all drifted apart too. I decided to be all alone to be, uh, ...alone. And the others are living somewhere else... Somewhere I don't know." She paused and took a deep breath. "Giles is in England and still keeps in touch with me. Not literally, though. 'Cause that would mean..."

Angel stared at her babbling.

"Skip that part. Um... yeah. Everybody's moved on."

"Yeah. Looks that way."

Buffy looked at him again. She really wanted to ask him about that girl he was with yesterday. She couldn't deny the fact that she was extremely jealous of the girl because she was with Angel. But she suddenly thought that it would just bring up a fight. And again! Take the risks.

"So!," Buffy started, causing Angel to jump at the sound of her voice. "How about you? I've been talking a lot about me. So... what about you?"

"Me? Uh... there's not much I've done Buffy. I've been human for six years, for a fact," Angel stated.

"And I never knew," she said in a broken tone. Her tears were forcing to come out again. "I never... Never did."

Angel bit his lip. She sounded really hurt. And in fact, it really did hurt Buffy that he didn't tell her that he was human. He knew that. But he didn't tell her. He didn't even know if it was for the best or he was just being selfish. He did want to tell Buffy, though. He just didn't know how to because it's been ages since he last saw her.

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I wanted to tell you."

"But?"

"Wh-what do you mean?"

Buffy snorted. "There's always a 'but'," She paused for a breath. "So tell me."

Angel swallowed hard. "I... I was lost and I didn't know how to find you. I didn't even know if you'll help me."

"That is ridiculous!," Buffy snapped as she stood up. Angel's eyes shot up at her. Thank goodness people were starting to leave the park. It would be totally awkward for people to see her like that. "You think I wouldn't help you? You think that I don't care about you? Angel, open your eyes! Everyone would have the guts to turn their backs on you but I wouldn't! Ever! I could be the one person who would be willing to stay by your side even if you don't want me to be there anymore!" She paused for a moment and she finally let the tears fall. "I thought you knew that... I can't believe you don't trust me anymore," she said in a bare whisper.

Angel looked into her sad teary eyes. "Buffy, I'm-"

"Sorry! Everybody's sorry! You know what? I'm gonna go. I don't have the strength to deal with you anymore."

Buffy walked away and Angel just stared at her. She needed time to deal and so did he. He didn't go after her at the moment because he knew that she'll just struggle again.

Angel looked down at his hands and let the tears fall. He glanced down at the direction that Buffy headed for.

She was gone.

For now.

* * *

><p>Buffy slumped down on her bed after a quick shower and not even bothering is she was naked under the covers.<p>

She closed her eyes and thought of Angel. She wondered if he still loved her because in her heart and in her whole being she still loved Angel. And she could never and _would never_ deny it.

Then, she snuggled closer to her pillow wondering if she should still stay in New York or not. But then again, she didn't have the guts to leave him now that she found him. She was never cool and comfortable with the part where they let go of each other.

She was never ready to let go of him.

* * *

><p>Angel entered his own apartment with his shoulders dropped. He slumped down the couch and closed his eyes. He yawned and looked at the clock.<p>

_10:00 pm_, it said. It was real late.

"Hey, baby," Ash said while approaching him. She sat down on his lap and kissed his lips and without hesitation Angel kissed her back.

"Hey," he said as they pulled away.

"Why are you home so late?," Ash asked him.

"Oh, just, uh, ran down the bar, had a couple of drinks but I'm not drunk. I swear."

Ash sighed. "It's fine. I had a drink myself. My friends forced me into it but it's not the first time."

Angel chuckled. "No it's not. Anyway, I gotta go get a quick shower."

Ash got off his lap and he stood up heading towards the bathroom.

* * *

><p>He let the water fall down all over his body and let it calm him down.<p>

"Buffy," he whispered and closed his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8: Remembering The First Times

_"I love you."_

_"I love you."_

_"Close your eyes."_

* * *

><p>Buffy yelled and shot straight up from the bed. She breathed heavily and buried her face in her palms. "Oh, God."<p>

She let herself fall back on the bed.

. . .

After a few moments, she took a quick shower and prayed silently for her relationship with Angel to work out just fine. She wasn't wishing for Angel to leave the girl- _who's name she still doesn't know_- for her. She was not going to be selfish over this. She's going to have a nice talk with Angel and it's going to be Angel's decision, of course.

She sighed loudly in the shower because she didn't know the right thing to do at the moment... and Angel always told her what's the right thing to do. He was the biggest help Buffy could have on rough times and now he's so hard to confront.

Whatever was she gonna do?

Skating.

She smiled. She hadn't been doing that for years.

* * *

><p>"Angel."<p>

Angel opened his eyes and turned to his... _fiancé_.

"Hey," he said. Then he yawned. "What's up?"

"I have my day off today so... what do you wanna do?"

Angel sat up on the bed along with her. "Hmm... I don't exactly know what could be interesting to do today. Got any ideas?"

"Well, I want to try... Ice skating," Ash said happily. "I haven't done that before. Not even once!"

Angel's heart ached. He remembered Buffy. He remembered the time they went ice skating and getting attacked by a vampire. But he thought it was fun, though.

And he missed it.

So he nodded and said, "Sure. We'll go. I haven't been on the ice for a while."

Ash's eyes widened. "You skate?"

He shook his head quickly. "No. No... I don't." He paused. He didn't know if he should tell her about Buffy. Ah! Friend. Refer to her as "Friend." Yeah. That would work. "Uh, a 'friend' of mine took me there once. It was like... ages. I can't count how many years it's been. So, ice skating's good."

"Which friend exactly?," Ash asked, curious about this...'friend.'

Angel froze. What was he supposed to say? It wasn't that he was ashamed of Buffy. He wasn't ashamed at all but he never really told Ash about Buffy. He gulped but quietly. "Uh... she's uh-"

"She?," Ash interrupted. A bit jealous about that.

Angel sighed. "Ash, don't worry about her. I haven't seen her in years. It's been like a lifetime ago."

"So... let's go?," she asked already standing up.

Angel looked up at her. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>Buffy led the young kids on the ice. She smiled at what she was doing at the moment. She thought it was fun to be with kids... at least they're not as annoying as Dawn.<p>

She was having fun here and she wanted to do it over and over again.

"Buffy!," a kid screamed. He was on the sides of the rink and he seemed nervous.

She approached the boy and leaned in closer to him. "What is it, Carl?"

Carl just lifted up his hand, hoping Buffy would hold it and help him on the ice.

Buffy smiled at the boy and took his small hand. "C'mon."

Carl brightened up and went with Buffy on the ice. She guided him carefully so he wouldn't slip or fall. Carl looked up to her. "Thank you."

Buffy grinned at the little boy. "You're welcome. Can you do it on your own or would you still like me to guide you?"

"Guide me!," the boy said, rather excited.

Buffy chuckled at the adorable kid and nodded. "Okay. Let's go."

* * *

><p>"Geez. It's cold in here," Angel said while rubbing his shoulders, arms crossed.<p>

Ashley did the same. "Well, not to mention the big block of ice in the middle of the place."

"Yeah. Right... the ice. Cold big block of ice."

Ash chuckled and took his hand.

* * *

><p>Buffy stopped as she felt a shiver down her spine. She rolled her eyes and muttered, "Great."<p>

"What is it, Buffy?," the boy asked her.

She looked down at him. "It's nothing, sweetie. Come on."

They continued to skate.

Buffy just ignored that feeling she had at the moment. If Angel was there, she wasn't gonna let him ruin her fun with the kids.

The other kids started to follow Buffy. They all held hands and formed a long line and started to skate all over the rink.

Buffy looked back on the kids behind her and smiled.

* * *

><p>Angel looked at the rink only to see <em>her. <em>Gliding gracefully against the ice with her gorgeous tiny body.

"What the hell?," he muttered under his breath.

He continued to stare at Buffy and the kids. They were having fun. Too much fun that he was worried Buffy won't notice him.

He snorted. He was with Ashley. Nothing to worry about.

But then again, he looked at her beautiful petite slender body. He was in awe every time he saw her. It's like the first time... _when he saw her cry in her bathroom through the window. _

Angel smiled as he remembered the time he found her.


	9. Chapter 9: Back On The Ice

"Hey," Ash whispered into Angel's ear. And it caused Angel to jump in surprise.

_Great, _Angel thought. "Hey."

"You ready to get on the ice?"

Angel didn't reply. He looked back on the ice only to see Buffy smiling at the kids.

And his heart swelled with joy and it beat faster. He smiled and turned back to Ash. "Yeah. Let's go."

* * *

><p>At the moment Buffy saw him, her breathing stopped at her throat and it won't come out. She thought she was gonna die. But no.<p>

Well, Buffy thought that it would be better to pretend that nothing happened between them. He was with that girl, damn it! She couldn't just blurt out something about her and Angel's past to her. So she took a deep breath she'd been longing for and kept calm until he and Ash approached her.

"Hey, Buffy. I didn't know I'd see you here," Angel said coolly. But deep deep down inside him, he was nervous and in love with this tiny blonde.

Buffy didn't reply right away. Her eyes drifted down at his hands... entwined with... _that girl over there. Whoever she was. _Then Buffy looked away from their hands then turned to see his eyes. "Hey," she said calmly. _Thank God! That was... smooth but lame. What the hell was he even doing here?, _she thought.

"So...," Angel started then he realized Ash doesn't know Buffy. He closed his eyes and sighed. "Buffy. This is Ashley. My _fiancée._"

Buffy's heart broke into a gazillion pieces. Tears welled up in her eyes but she blinked them away. She froze. Her whole body froze on the ice and she felt like running away from him. But instead, she just waved at her and said, "Hi. Nice to, uh, meet you. And congratulations. I'm very happy for the two of you," she lied. She looked so happy on the outside. But if only Angel can see how dead she feels on the inside right now... And he just can't. Because he was happy with somebody else. Someone that's not her.

Angel noticed the little sadness in her voice. He knew it was a lie. He gave her a small smile. "Thanks."

"Thank you... Buffy," Ash echoed.

Buffy gave them a forced smile. "No problem."

Angel sighed. "So what are you doing back on the ice?"

Buffy shrugged and looked back on the kids. "It's been _too_ long since I've been on the ice," she said as she twirled around.

"Okay. Um... we're gonna go enjoy ourselves," Angel said while moving away from Buffy with Ash.

"Okay...," she mumbled to herself. Then she looked back at Angel and Ash. "Bye."

* * *

><p>Buffy decided to leave before she breaks down in front of everyone in there.<p>

She sat on one of the chairs at the lounge while changing her shoes.

She sighed loudly and miserably as she watched Angel... and_ that girl over there. _She tried really hard to hide her jealousy over Ash but she really needed to try even harder. Or else that girl is gonna suspect things she doesn't understand.

She rolled her eyes. _Like I still have a chance to get him back. Someone owns him now! And she owns him for good... maybe. But who knows maybe we'll be back together again, _Buffy thought... then she snorted. "Not gonna happen," she whispered to herself.

When she finally finished changing, she stood up, took one last glance at Angel, who was flirting with _that girl over there_, and walked out.

Little did she know that Angel was pretty upset that she had to leave.

* * *

><p>Angel swallowed as he watched Buffy leave. He wanted to go after her but...<p>

Yeah. Ashley's right there with him so he just backed off a little for now.


	10. Chapter 10: Frankly, I Still Do

_The next day..._

Angel sat down alone in the diner near the park. He didn't have anything to do this afternoon so he went to get something to eat. Or maybe get out a little while he was alone. Then, he remembered the time he caught up with Buffy there in the diner. He kept on glancing at the door of the diner, hoping for Buffy to come in. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair and sipped on his coke.

Then he heard the door open and glanced at it.

_Buffy, _he thought. He smiled brightly and approached her as quickly as possible before she won't notice him. "Hi, Buffy," he said.

"Angel," she said breathlessly like she did all the time. She swallowed painfully and sighed. "Hi."

He smiled at her. But still his heart ached to see her all alone. "Do you wanna sit down with me for a while? I'm not prying. But if you want to-"

Buffy cut him off and giggled at his babbling. "I don't mind. I would like that. We've never done that before."

Angel nodded and celebrated mentally. He really was in love with Buffy and he always have been. "Great. Come on."

He took her small hand in his larger one.

They both felt a spark flow all throughout their bodies. They let out a breathless gasp in unison and looked at each other.

Angel smiled sweetly down at her and led her to the table he just left.

They sat down and didn't say a thing...

Buffy's heart was racing and she was afraid Angel might hear it. She bit her lip because she was nervous about this. She wasn't expecting for Angel to be here but he was here and she was happy about it. She looked down at her hands.

While Angel kept looking at her.

"So... what do you want to eat?," Angel asked.

Buffy looked up at him and shrugged. "I don't know yet."

"Hey, it's on me."

Buffy looked at him with wide eyes. "No. It's fine, really. You don't have to."

Angel chuckled lightly. "It's okay. Like you said we've never done this before so... let's at least get it done. For the first time."

Buffy nodded silently. "Okay. If you insist."

Angel just smiled at this beautiful creature and asked, "So... pancakes?"

"Yeah," she replied and giggled. "Okay, sure."

Angel got up from the table and ordered at the counter whilst Buffy waited for him, still nervous.

* * *

><p>Angel got back on their table with the food.<p>

Buffy looked up at him and smiled thankfully. "Thanks."

Angel shook his head. "No problem, Buffy. It's alright."

"Fries?," Buffy asked.

"Oh, yeah. I love fries so I got us one. You don't have to eat it if you don't like it."

Buffy chuckled. "I don't like it. I love it! So, I don't mind eating a mouthful of those."

Angel smiled at her cuteness. "You look really hungry."

"That I am. I didn't have dinner last night; lost the appetite," said Buffy, munching on her pancake while Angel watched her.

He smiled at her. He missed everything that she is. Then he realizes that he missed out a lot on her life and suddenly, he want in.

Then there's this problem with Ashley: How was he gonna get rid of her? But then again, he was gonna marry her. He didn't want to break her heart.

He pouted slightly and munched on the fries.

"Hey," Buffy said as she noticed that pout on his lips. "What's wrong?"

Angel blinked at her. "Nothing. Everything's great," he lied.

Buffy nodded in reply. "Okay. If you say so."

Then there was the silence...

* * *

><p>Buffy nervously chewed her lower lip. She wanted to ask Angel about Ashley but what if he thinks she's jealous? Well, it's quite okay. That just means that Angel will know that Buffy still loves him. It's okay, right?<p>

Right?

She let out a frustrated sigh and kept looking at Angel. He will never notice how in love she was with him. Now that he's going to _marry_ that girl called Ashley.

_Marriage. _

Buffy always wanted that with Angel. Then she thought:_ TOO LATE, sister! Somebody got to your Angel first! AND. THEY'RE. GOING. TO. GET. MARRIED. **SOON.**_

Buffy shook her head frantically. Thank God, Angel didn't seem to notice.

Well, that was what she thought. She didn't even notice her own tears forcing to come out.

Angel looked at her in a concerned manner. He leaned in closer to her and took her hand.

Buffy gasped slightly at the sensation and looked at him with her almost teary eyes. She was thankful that there were only a few people in the diner. She stared into Angel's deep dark eyes and he looked into her hazel green ones. She gulped at the feeling she was having.

"Are you alright, sweetie?," Angel asked. He was completely surprised that he had called her _sweetie. _And truth be told, he missed calling her that.

Buffy nodded her head lightly. "Yes," she said, barely a whisper. She was definitely lying. She didn't like lying to him but it was very obvious that _she is not okay._ But it was loud enough for the both of them to hear. She sounded so broken.

He had noticed that before and his heart ached for this girl in front of him. He knew he hurt her and he cursed at himself for not apologizing.

"No, you're not," he said with a shake of his head.

Angel took her hand and helped her to her feet. "Come on. Let's talk."

Buffy just let him take her away. They walked out of the diner and went to the park.

* * *

><p>"By that look you have on your face, it doesn't tell me you're alright. And trust me I know," Angel told Buffy once they sat down on the grass under the tree.<p>

Buffy pursed her lips together and shook her head. "I'm not. Honestly."

Angel nodded and sighed. He didn't know what to do to comfort her. He kept looking at her, trying to figure her out. He always knew what to do when she was like this... But now, he realized that he lost that ability to do so. And he was so mad at himself that he couldn't do anything to make Buffy feel good again.

He wanted to hold her. _Yeah, hold her like I used to. That's gonna work. She loves it when I do that. Okay, go, _Angel thought nervously. He haven't done that since that day he saw her again.

Angel closed his eyes and held her.

Buffy gasped at the feeling of his arms around her body.

Angel did the same. He felt suddenly comfortable once he held her small frame. She fit perfectly in his arms and he loved the way she did.

Buffy didn't want him to go away so she held onto his strong body and sobbed quietly against his chest.

On the other hand, Angel was busy running his hand through her blonde hair and lightly kissing it. He didn't mind doing that. He actually loved doing that when he held Buffy. It was like his instinct when it came to her. He smiled to himself and kissed her crown.

Buffy smiled against his chest and stopped the sobbing once she felt Angel's shirt wet with her tears. She pulled away reluctantly and looked up to his soft dark eyes. She smiled at him. "Thank you, Angel."

She got a sweet smile from him. "I'll always be here for you. Though not always but still whenever you need me, I-"

Buffy nodded and cut him off. "Yeah. You'll be there, right? Like you should have done the past years when you became human," she stated bitterly.

Angel looked at her calmly.

She realized what she just said and it was lame and stupid. She sighed and close her eyes. Great. Now she hurt him with her words. "I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry, Angel. I didn't know what I was saying and it just got to me and I'm really stupid and annoying and you must hate me very much right now," she babbled.

Angel just chuckled. "Don't be. And you're right... I should have been there. I am _really really _sorry that I didn't let you know first. I'm so guilty and you don't know how much I am right now. I'm really sorry, Buffy. For everything I put your through. All these years and especially now... Now that I'm marrying someone. I really th-"

Angel was cut off by Buffy. "When did you meet her?"

"Oh, I met her a year ago. At this park. We got talking and suddenly I wanted to ask her out."

Buffy looked so hurt at what he said to her. "Oh. Good. Then?"

Angel looked at her for a moment then continued explaining. "Right. Then at that moment, all I could think about was... frankly... all I could_ really_ think about was... how much I still loved you."

Buffy gaped and stared at him. "What?," she said breathlessly.


	11. Chapter 11: Everything Slips And Falls

"You what?," Buffy asked with a very confused look on her face. "Did I just hear that right or am I dreaming that you just said that?"

Angel didn't answer.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. I'm definitely dreaming. Because in reality, you would never say that you still love me!"

"What? How could you think like that? I just told you that I love you and you won't believe it? You're kidding right?," Angel asked, irritated and upset that Buffy didn't believe him. But who could blame her for that? He left her, he never let her hear anything about him for ages and now he's marrying someone!

"What? You thought I was just gonna fall for that? How do I know you're telling the truth? You_ left_ me, Angel! Sorry if I took that seriously! But let me tell you that I took it that way because I am serious about us and I still am!" She paused as she tried to blink the tears from falling. "You didn't... you didn't even tell me that you became human. And you didn't tell me that you met someone... someone else... someone _even_ better than I am," she said in hoarse voice. And this time, she just let the tears fall.

Whilst, on the other hand, Angel's heart was breaking. He truly hurt her feelings and he was so guilty about it. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. I-"

Buffy sniffed silently and cut him off. "You know what? It's alright. I'm not gonna expect you to get back with me and I never will. I know that you're happy with Ashley and I'm cool about that. It's actually good to know that someone else made you happy. That someone else made you smile. That someone else... loves you. But you know what else? No _other_ girl in this world could love you better than I can. And in my point of view, I am the only girl that knows how to love you. But that's pretty selfish so... I take that back..."

Angel's heart really broke this time. He knew in his heart that Buffy loved him but he was afraid that... that he might never be with her again. And he wanted her so bad.

And she wanted him too.

* * *

><p>"Buffy," Angel asked out of the blue.<p>

They have been sitting on the grass for another two hours and it was almost dark. Now, they waited for the sun to set.

"Yeah?"

"Do you still love me?"

Buffy nodded. "Didn't you hear my heartfelt speech?"

Angel chuckled silently. "Yeah. I... I did. It was... really, uh... Heartfelt."

Buffy put on a forced smile. "Yeah. My chest hurt when I said everything I needed to."

"Was it worth it?," Angel asked.

Buffy sighed and smiled at him. "You know what? It really _was." _

Angel smiled gratefully at her. "Thank you. I- I don't know what to say... after all what you really felt about me. It feels so real."

"It is."

* * *

><p>Angel walked into his apartment and threw the keys on the coffee table. Then he noticed that Ashley's bag was lying at the couch.<p>

"She's early," Angel whispered to himself. Then he shrugged.

He took off his jacket and threw it on the couch, covering Ashley's bag. He headed to the bedroom and quietly opened the door.

He gaped at the sight.

"Angel!," Ashley yelped. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

A man was was on top of Ashley and they were...on the bed and... _OH GOD,_ he thought.

"GOD! What the hell?," Angel screamed. His heart was racing. How could she do this to him? He was so mad that he wanted to kill her and that man she was with.

"Angel, I-," Ashley started to gather her clothes and the man she was with didn't seem to care about anything.

"No! We're over, Ash. The marriage is off! And there is absolutely nothing... Nothing you can do to change that! Now leave my place and take that asshole with you! Don't come back here. _EVER._ I don't want to see your backstabbing face anymore! NOW GO! Now! Leave!," Angel yelled frantically.

Ashley and the man started to dress up and headed for the door.

Angel gritted his teeth and punched the guy hard on the face.

"Oh, God! That hurt!," the guy yelled.

"OUT. NOW," Angel said whilst his teeth were grinding.

Then the two of them headed out.

* * *

><p>Angel sat on the couch and cried.<p>

He shook his head. He blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall.

_She cheated on me... that... lying bitch.. she lied to me. I loved her and she stabbed me in the back...I. AM. SO. STUPID..., _Angel thought over and over again.

"Buffy," he said in a hoarse voice. "I'm so sorry."

He let out a loud sob and covered his face with his palms.

Now, he really needed what he needed from the beginning.

_Buffy Anne Summers._


	12. Chapter 12: To Doubt Or Not To Doubt?

He headed to the bathroom to give himself a warm bath just to clear his thoughts away. He closed his eyes as the tears fell along with the water that the shower gave off.

He couldn't get Ashley and the guy out of his mind. He felt so betrayed and broken... He placed his hands against the cold wall of the shower room and just let the warm water cover his body. He didn't know what to do and what to feel right now. He was so mad at everything at the moment.

Angel gritted his teeth that he could almost feel his gums bleed. He yelled so loud and smashed his fist against the wall.

"Agh!," he yelped as the pain shot through his whole body. "Gosh... That... hurts... And it feels good."

His knuckles started to bleed causing him to hiss in pain. He placed his bloody hand under the shower carefully and jumped in pain as the warm water went into his wounds.

"Ow...," he whispered. It really hurt. Seriously.

He tried to curl his hand but he couldn't 'cause it hurt too much.

* * *

><p>Buffy sat by her window at her apartment. He looked down at the city streets and the few cars that were passing by. She was still thinking about what Angel told her earlier.<p>

Was it true? Is Angel still in love with her? She wasn't sure and she thinks Angel isn't either. She sighed loudly and ran a hand through her hair. She carefully stood up from her place by the window and closed the curtains. She headed to the bathroom and prepared herself before going to bed.

. . .

Once in bed, she looked up at the ceiling thinking about Angel. What was this man doing to her? Making her feel like this? She loved him truly ever since they met at that dark alley and kicked his ass to the ground.

She smiled at the memory and drifted slowly to her slumber.

* * *

><p><em>The next morning...<em>

Buffy woke up as the rays of the sun hit her face and all the way through the lids of her eyes.

She got up and yawned then went to close the curtains. She gently rubbed her eyes and yawned again.

She went into the bathroom and rinsed her face. She lifted her face to look at herself in the mirror and smiled.

"Hello, gorgeous," she told herself while smirking.

She chuckled at her silliness.

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile...<em>

Angel woke up on his couch and carefully sat up trying not to bump his hurting hand. He looked down at it, bandaged in a soft cloth. He could see the blood through the thin cloth. He sighed and placed a hand on it. Then he he hissed in pain and covered his eyes to prevent the tears from falling.

He rolled his eyes and headed to the kitchen. He noticed a picture of Ashley on top of the counter. He glared at it. He took it and smashed it to the ground.

"Now I feel even better."

He opened the fridge and took a glass of milk and drank some. He settled down a chair and placed his legs about the table.

He stretched his arms and yawned.

Then he fell to the floor at the sound of the phone ringing.

"AAAAGGGH!"

He hissed in pain as his bleeding hand touched the floor. Thankfully, he managed to get up but his hand still hurt.

Finally, he reached the phone and answered it. "Hello?"

"Angel..," came a sweet voice from the phone.

"Sorry, wrong number. Try-"

The voice cut him off. "Angel, please. Let me-"

BOOM.

Angel put down the phone. He really wasn't going to be in _ANY_ mood to talk to Ashley. _Never again._

* * *

><p>Buffy went to the pond where she ran away to back to the day she saw Angel for the first time again. Was it days ago? Or weeks? She didn't know. She barely kept up with the days that passed by because of thinking about Angel all of the time.<p>

She felt her cheeks burning as she blushed at the thought of Angel. Yes, she can't get rid of Angel out of her mind. It really felt good to hear Angel tell her that he loves her. It was beautiful music to her ears.

_"All I could think about was how much I still loved you."_

Buffy smiled as a deep blush rose to her cheeks. She kept on playing those wonderful words inside her head. She especially liked, wait, loved, the way he said it. It sounded so honest and calm but she stilled had those tiny feeling of doubts.

But then she thought that if you really love someone you shouldn't have doubts, right? _Right?_

_"Do you love me?"_

_"What?"_

_"Do you?"_

_. . . _

_"I love you. I don't know if I trust you."_

_"Then maybe you shouldn't do either."_

Buffy closed her eyes at the moment of nostalgia. It's really trending these days.


	13. Chapter 13: You Know That Right?

_After a week..._

Buffy sat on the grass by the pond again. She was really liking it here. That's one of the reasons, though. She actually came here because she was missing Angel. It's been a week since she last saw him and she didn't know if he was alright or not. She wanted to visit him but then again, he was getting married to Ashley. And she didn't have his address or his phone number.

As much as she wanted to be with him, she couldn't. There were too many things coming their way and she just can't push them all aside.

She sighed loudly and dropped her face in her hands. Then she ran a hand through her hair.

Buffy was _totally_ bored it could kill her.

She shifted in her position uncomfortably as she felt that shiver down her spine. But then, a little happy smile formed on her lips when she heard _his _voice.

"I didn't know I'd find you here," came his voice from behind her.

Buffy didn't look up. She just kept on looking at the water. "It's nice here. Fresh air and gorgeous nature. We barely have this around now. It's all buildings and skyscrapers..."

Angel sat beside her and this time Buffy turned to look at his face. "I know. It's not the bad but... it's still nice to have these natural... uh, what do you call it? Wonders?"

Buffy chuckled. "Yeah. Sure." She paused. "What are you doing here?"

"I, uh... I really... I really don't know. Maybe the same thing you're doing here."

"Oh you mean, thinking about you?," she asked coyly.

"You are thinking about me?," Angel asked her.

"Yeah. Is that illegal?"

Angel chuckled and shook his head. "No. Not at all. It feels nice to know that you _still_ think about me..."

"Yes. It is nice to feel... So... what are you up to today? No dates with the future wife?," Buffy asked with no excitement.

Angel's head dropped and sighed. "I wanted to, uh... talk to you about... about that. Um... You'll listen right?"

"Angel. I always listen to you. And no matter what happens, I'll be here to help with the life problems you have... It's hard to be an average Joe sometimes."

Angel nodded in agreement. "Yeah. I get that sometimes. Listen, okay?"

Buffy nodded at him. "Yes, sir, I will."

Angel took a deep breath and stiffened. "Ashley cheated on me," he whispered but it was loud enough for Buffy to hear.

On the other hand, Buffy's mouth gaped and her heart clenched. "What?," she said breathlessly.

"Yeah. But it's all good. I'm never going to give a damn about her anymore. I cancelled the marriage and I don't care how much work has been put away... She cheated on me, Buffy. I could never forgive that. I cared about her and this is what I get in return?"

Buffy felt so bad for Angel... but happy now that he's available.

_Bad Buffy! Do not be selfish. Damn, _Buffy chastised herself. "Did you at least... let her explain?"

"Explain? Explain? I think I found the explanation when I found her in bed with that guy! It's enough and I want out of it."

"I'm so sorry..."

At that, Angel calmed down and nodded quietly. "You'd be the first. I appreciate it, Buffy. I don't know who else to talk to about this. I haven't seen you in a week and it's killing me... and I'm missing you so much."

Buffy's heart swelled at his words and that husky voice... BAD.

"I feel like crying because you weren't there. I wanted to see you so I can forget her and everything we ever had and I don't want to remember them anymore. And I really need you right now, Buffy."

Buffy's eyes almost welled with tears. Did Angel really need her? Duh. "I'm right here."

"I know you are. And despite the fact that I left you, the fact that I didn't tell you about me being human, the fact that I didn't want you to know about my life... you were like... the _one_ person who was really willing to be with me until the end."

"That's me. Buffy. Always there for friends I love."

"So... I'm just a friend?"

Buffy looked down and sighed. "That's what you told Ashley about me- a _Friend._ And probably nothing more than that," she said brokenly and bitterly.

Angel was guilty. He did call her a friend in front of that heartless traitor called Ashley. And he couldn't believe what he just did back there. "I'm... I'm so sorry. God, I can't believe I actually said that in front of that selfish bitch... Buffy, I'm.. really truly sorry. _Really. _I want you to know that I mean it. I love you," he said softly and honestly. Pause. "You know that, right, Buffy?"

Buffy smiled sweetly at him and held his hand. "I do. And I love you. But it kinda sounds unreal right now."

"No, it doesn't. It sounds real and I want it to be real. I want to be with you."

"I think I already told you that when you dumped me... then you said that you didn't want to be with me."

"I know what I said, Buffy. But I want to fix things for us. Now that we're free of every responsibility that the Powers gave us. All things are possible, Buffy. And I want things to be possible for the two of us."

Buffy nodded silently.

"And please, don't think that I'm taking you for granted, okay? Because I would never do that to you. Ever. And you don't deserve to be taken for granted. You're a wonderful woman and the greatest I've known. You're amazing and I could barely resist you."

Buffy's eyes were really teary right now. "Do you mean that?"

"Watch this."

Angel leaned down close to her until their lips met. They kissed passionately, not caring if there were people around.

Buffy put his arms around his neck and grabbed tiny locks of his dark hair. She moaned happily against his lips.

Angel did the same as he wrapped his strong arms around her tiny body. "I love you," he said against her lips.

Buffy giggled and pulled away. "I love you too."

Angel smiled and gave her a small kiss on her lips then stood up and offered his hand to Buffy. "Come on. It's getting dark. I'll take you home."

The small blonde gave him a smile and took his hand and stood on her feet. "I'll take you home with me," she said with a smirk.

"Oh, Buffy, you're bad."

"You make me." She laughed. "Let's go!"


	14. Chapter 14: Trouble Before Breakfast

Buffy and Angel entered her bedroom and started kissing. Angel's hand made its way under her shirt but Buffy pulled it away.

"Wait... what are we doing?," she asked.

"We're gonna... uh, make love?," Angel asked.

"Okay!," Buffy replied enthusiastically.

Then they fell to the bed.

* * *

><p><em>After that hours of love making...<em>

Angel woke up and saw the little blonde girl beside him, her head buried in the pillows. Angel smiled down at her and brushed a lock of her hair out of her beautiful face. He kissed her crown and continued to look at her beauty. He missed her so much so he pulled her tiny body close to him. He gasped as their bodies made contact. He gulped. _Whoa. Yeah, we're naked, alright... and it's great._

Angel smiled as Buffy stirred in his arms.

Then she opened her eyes to look at him. She smiled. "Is this a dream?," she whispered.

Angel leaned down and gave her a kiss on the lips. "It's all real, sweetie. You're here with me with no trouble."

He got a smiled in return. Then he hugged her tightly not caring if she minds or not. Well... she really doesn't mind at all. She even held on to him tighter.

"I love you, Angel," she mumbled against his chest.

Angel kissed her crown. "I love you too, Buffy. _Always._"

Buffy then started to get up while covering herself with the soft blanket. The first thing she saw was Angel's white collared shirt. She grabbed it from the floor and put in on herself. She got up and looked at Angel. "What do you think?," she asked cheerfully.

"It looks like a dress on you," he said while his eyes roamed her body.

"Well, it's not by fault you're body is bigger than mine," she said, shrugging his shoulders. Then she left for the kitchen when her stomach grumbled for food.

While in the bedroom, Angel slipped into his boxers and followed Buffy to where she was going. He stopped his tracks when he saw Buffy in the kitchen and smiled. He really was mesmerized every time he saw her. It was always like the first time.

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her tiny waist. Then he kissed her shoulder. "What are you gonna eat?"

Buffy sighed and leaned back on his chest. "I don't know. All I have is a box of cereal, a chocolate cake and an apple. I didn't get much food this past week. I really don't have the money right now."

Angel sighed. "Oh. Well, just eat the cake. I know you love chocolate cake. Right?"

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. Well... fine. I'll just eat it. But how about you?"

Angel shrugged. "Oh! I know! We could have our breakfast at the diner! How's that sound?," he stated happily.

Buffy giggled at his cuteness. "Okay, okay. We will."

Angel blushed slightly. "Sorry," he whispered.

"Aww...," Buffy said while cupping Angel's cheek with her small hand. Then she tiptoed and kissed him passionately.

Angel grabbed and lifted her body then Buffy's legs went around his waist.

"Oh, God, Angel," Buffy mumbled against his lips. "I'm hungry."

Angel pulled away from her lips and smiled. "Okay then, let's get you dressed." He then, put Buffy down on her feet.

_God, I miss him already, _thought Buffy. She really missed being in his arms because she hasn't been with him for ages.

* * *

><p>Buffy and Angel walked hand in hand as they headed to the diner.<p>

Angel kept on looking down at her and taking in her magnificent image. He really was in love with her and he has been since he first saw her. He continued smiling because he was happy with her. Maybe a lot happier that he was with...

"Ashley," Angel said.

Buffy stopped as a pang of jealousy hit her whole being when Angel said her name. She looked up at him. "Excuse me, what?"

"Oh, Buffy, I... she's right over there with that guy I saw her with," Angel explained.

"I thought you..."

Angel shook his head and held Buffy's shoulders. "Buffy. I would never fall for her again," Angel promised but Buffy didn't seem convinced.

"How do I know you're not lying?," she asked bitterly.

Angel, without hesitation, kissed her passionately... then he pulled away reluctantly. "I love you, Buffy. You know that. And I won't lie to you about that."

Buffy closed her eyes and nodded. "Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

Angel smiled and kissed her again. "It's alright. I understand that you still have little feelings of doubts in you. But I want you to know that I love you so much and nothing can change that, okay?"

Buffy blushed and smiled at him. "Okay."

Suddenly, a voice came up behind them. "Angel?"

Ashley, the lying bitch, with that asshole Angel found her with.

Angel quickly grabbed Buffy's waist. "Hey, Ashley and... guy."

Buffy kept on looking down because she was shy. She never really had friends here in New York.

"It's nice to see you again with... her," Ashley said while holding the guy's hand.

Angel looked down at Buffy and smiled as he kissed her hair. Then he looked back at Ashley. "Yeah. It's nice."

"What's your name again?," Ashley asked, turning to Buffy.

Buffy's head shot up at Ashley. "Buffy," she said quietly.

"Right..."

"Just leave us alone, Ashley," came Angel's angry voice.


	15. Chapter 15: If Ever

Ashley rolled her eyes and left with the guy.

Buffy and Angel just looked at them and shrugged. Buffy looked up at Angel who was fuming. She cupped his cheek and soothed him by kissing his lips.

Angel's eyes fell on Buffy's. He gave her a small smile.

"Are you okay?," Buffy asked, concerned. She continued to caress his cheek for comfort. When he didn't answer, Buffy began to panic. "Hey..."

Angel's head dropped and he began to shake his head. "No."

Buffy's heat ache for him. He was hurting because of what happened with Ashley. Now what she was worried about is maybe Angel still has feelings for her. She swallowed thickly and fought the tears that forced to come out. She dropped her hands and thought: _What if... just, what if he's still in love with her? Yeah. I feel like a third wheel again. A pathetic third wheel. _

Buffy hesitated for a moment then asked, "Do you want me to go?," she asked, almost afraid of the answer he was going to give her. She didn't want to leave him but maybe he wanted her to. She bit her lip in fear.

Angel shook his head lightly and held Buffy's hand. "No. I want you to stay with me." He paused. "I need you."

The heavy feeling left Buffy's body as she gave out a sigh of relief. She smiled at the former vampire and said, "Do you really?," she said coyly.

With a chuckle, Angel said, "I really do, Buffy. I'm just... hurting... you know? But... don't worry about me. I don't have feelings for her besides anger. Okay? I love you and only you. Alright?"

Buffy's heart swelled with his sincere words. "Alright," she echoed. "Breakfast? I'm really hungry."

Angel lifted Buffy's body, grabbing her by her tiny waist, causing her to jump and laugh. "Angel! Stop it!"

"Okay, okay." Angel put Buffy down on her feet and walked in with her in the diner.

* * *

><p>Buffy munched on her pancakes. "These things never get old."<p>

Angel watched her in amusement and smiled at how cute she was when she's hungry. It's like looking at his kid eating greedily.

_Kid._

Angel heaved a sigh. He always wanted that for Buffy... and now _they_ can have one. There were a lot of possibilities for them now. Now that he's human and now that she's free of her duty as Slayer. He haven't thought of it with Ashley, though. When he had Connor, it was hell. He was rebellious. And now he was almost afraid of having another kid...

If ever, that is.

He shook his head. He shouldn't be thinking about this. He should be thinking about food - which sounds so good right now.

So he looked down on his own stack of pancakes and ate them.

* * *

><p>"So, what do you want to do next?," Buffy asked Angel as they walked in the park hand in hand.<p>

Angel heaved a sigh. "I don't know. What do you want to do?"

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know, either."

Then they sat on the bench. You know... still holding hands. Angel didn't say anything so he just kept on stealing glances at Buffy who was watching the kids who were playing Frisbee at the park. He smiled at her. "What are you thinking about?," Angel whispered in her ear.

Buffy sighed and turned to him. "Those kids."

Her lover smiled at her. "Why?"

Buffy stiffened and sighed. "I don't know. I just... they look happy, is all."

"Come on. It's more than that," Angel replied. He wasn't convinced that Buffy was thinking about how happy the kids are. He actually was thinking that Buffy wanted kids.

Buffy looked confusingly at him. "What do you mean?"

Angel sighed and smiled. "I mean, you're thinking about something _more_ than them being happy. Now, tell me."

Buffy looked down. "You won't understand. I don't know if you want-"

"Buffy. I know I'm not exactly-"

"Hey. I understand that you don't think about that. But I do think about that. I mean, imagine the possibilities."

Angel sighed. "When I had Connor... it was hard. But I loved him... and in the end I really wasn't ready to be the best dad for him. So... I'm really sorry if I.. disappoint you about this 'kids talk.'"

Buffy felt hot tears coming out of her eyes. She always wanted to have children with Angel and it was like he didn't want to have them. At all.

So she just shrugged, hiding all her bad feelings. "It's alright. If you don't want them, it's alright. I'm not going to push you into that talk anymore because I know-"

"Buffy," he cut her off.

"No. Let me finish, alright?"

Angel just nodded.

"I know you don't want kids. And it's okay... Change the subject, please," she stated bitterly then looked down at her hands, letting the tears to finally fall.

Angel's heart broke at the sight of Buffy grieving for something she wanted that he didn't. He closed his eyes and took her hand but Buffy jerked away. Angel stared at her in utter disbelief. But who could blame her. She wanted life to be normal since she was fifteen when normal wasn't trending in her life. And she always wanted normal with Angel.

And truth be told, Riley could pass for a normal boyfriend for her but it's like they have the same job - slaying vampires and demons minus the experimenting. There was also that issue of Riley not being fair to her when he paid vampires just to feel their sharp fangs go all the way through his skin. Buffy seriously _didn't_ want to get bitten by Dracula and Riley was just too stupid to understand that almost no one can control Dracula's power over their conscience.

So... it was over between the two of them. He got married to Sam and she got married to... well, no one. She hasn't seen anyone since Spike died. And she missed him so much. He was doing so much better with the soul in him and with the chip's trigger off.

And Buffy loved him.

But he's gone.

Now, there's Angel. Again.

And she loves him... but she didn't know how to make it work anymore.


	16. Chapter 16: Couldn't Let Go Of You

Angel took Buffy home but didn't none of them said a word all the way there.

Until the doorstep.

* * *

><p>They stopped at Buffy's doorstep and just took in the silent treatment.<p>

Buffy bit her lip and Angel kept on sighing and it was bothering her.

"So... I'm gonna go," Angel started. "But not go, go. Just go home. Are you gonna be alright all day? I mean, it's still early in the morning."

Buffy hugged herself to fight the cold and smiled tightly. "Yeah. I can- I can take care of myself. Plus, I have some stuff to do, like, cleaning the whole place because it's been a big mess."

Angel's lips twitched. He wanted to stay with Buffy but he thought that she would want a time alone just by herself because of that talk they had at the park. "Okay. Well, I gotta go and give you some time alone."

Buffy nodded. "Yeah."

Angel looked at her for a moment and turned to walk away from her place and Buffy just stood there and watched him. She looked down at her feet and turned to open her door with her key. She looked at Angel once more the same time he did when he looked at her.

Staring.

Buffy smiled. And turned the doorknob to open the door but before she could enter, Angel grabbed her body and kissed her hungrily. And without hesitation Buffy deepened the kiss and held onto his neck as her legs went around his waist.

Then they went inside the apartment and continued to the couch.

Angel was on top of Buffy and he could feel his arousal coming to him. "I love you," he breathed.

"I love you," she replied, panting after that make out session.

"Do you want to-"

"Yes. Go. Please."

Angel chuckled and did what Buffy wanted him to do to her.

Buffy giggled as Angel nuzzled her neck.

This was going to be quite a morning.

* * *

><p>Buffy woke up, only to find herself on top of Angel's bare chest. She blushed but looked at his sleeping form anyway. She kissed his neck, up to his lips and down his chest. And while she was doing that, she felt Angel waking up now.<p>

Angel looked down at her and smiled. "Hey. What are you doing?"

Buffy blushed. "Uh, I was just... kissing your chest?," she asked coyly.

Angel chuckled and kissed her crown. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said. "I really thought you were gonna leave me."

"I can't resist you."

"And I can't resist _you." _She kissed his lips and pulled away reluctantly. "I'm gonna take another shower. You wanna come with?," she asked seductively.

"Oh, yes, please."

He took of the blanket above them and carried her to the bathroom, not even caring if they were naked in the apartment. It wasn't like they were being watched or anything.

And no, they weren't.

* * *

><p>Buffy and Angel got in the tub with warm water which really helped them feel comfortable.<p>

Buffy settled between Angel's legs, her back facing him. She gasped as she felt his erection pressing against her lower back. She closed her eyes as she blushed at the sensation.

Angel held her close to him, against his chest; and Buffy leaned back to it.

She felt his arms tighten around her but she didn't bother. She actually loved it. Then, she felt Angel kiss her shoulder and shivers went throughout her whole body.

"You really have to stop that," she said sheepishly.

Then she heard Angel chuckle. "Never, dear. I love your skin. It's so... soft."

Buffy giggled and held Angel's hand from the back. "I love you, Angel."

"I love you too. And I always will."

* * *

><p>Buffy sat on her bed with Angel in silence.<p>

"So... what do you want to talk about?," Angel asked her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

Buffy shrugged against his arm. "I dunno."

Angel sighed and stroked Buffy's hair with his hand. He gently kissed her head. "Do you want to go out?"

Buffy pouted and shook her head. "No. I wanna stay here and just rest. That'd be good." She leaned her head against Angel's shoulder and he just held her tighter to make sure he doesn't lose her. To make sure that this is all real.


	17. Chapter 17: Do It Before It's Too Late

Buffy woke up feeling a body next to her. Then she remembered...

_Angel._

Angel was there with her and it made her so happy. So she just hugged his body and snuggled deeper into his chest.

She felt Angel groan and his hand that made its way to her hair.

"Good afternoon," Angel whispered against her hair.

Buffy sat up. "Afternoon?" She paused and then stood up to look outside the window. It was already getting dark. "Wow... I need to eat."

She ran out of the room then heard Angel chuckle back in the room.

He sat up and followed Buffy to her kitchen. He gulped when he saw her tiny body reaching for the cup that was too high for her to reach. He watched her in amusement. She was so tiny and it was cute. It turned him on.

Angel approached her and held her gently on her waist and kissed her shoulder. "You're so small."

Buffy turned in his arms to look at him. "I didn't ask for you opinion," she said then shrugged. Then she tiptoed and gave him a kiss. "Get it for me, please?," she asked him sheepishly. Then she stepped out of his way.

"Yes, ma'am." Angel, with no trouble, got the cup for her.

"Thank you," Buffy said as she poured some cold water on the cup. Then she greedily swallowed the water and, hell, she was so thirsty. She moaned in the comforting feeling the water gave her.

"Feel better?," Angel asked.

Buffy nodded. "Much much better. Water is good."

Angel smiled at her. She was so adorable and he just wanted to hug her all day!

"Do you want to eat dinner now? Not that I could cook or anything... I can't cook," she said lamely.

"Oh. Okay. What do you want?"

Buffy twisted her lips. "No idea. Just food."

"Okay. Come on."

* * *

><p>Buffy shifted in her position in Angel's arms as they slept that night. She was feeling uneasy because it was so hot.<p>

"Damn," she mumbled. She looked at Angel who was sleeping more comfortably than her. She hesitated for a moment then nudged him awake. "Angel."

Angel groaned and turned his back on Buffy.

Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes. She couldn't sleep and she wanted Angel to tuck her in again. She got up from the bed slowly and went into the kitchen to drink some water.

* * *

><p>She stayed up for what seemed like hours because she couldn't sleep. She was now sitting on th couch waiting for sleep to come. She glanced at the clock.<p>

_2:00 am, _it said.

Her eyes narrowed. It was so early in the morning, it was still dark outside and she didn't seem to get a little sleepy. Then she shrugged.

She was staring into space when she yawned. "Yes!," she said.

Then she settled herself into a sleeping position on the couch and let the sleep just take over her.

She wanted to rest.

_"Can we rest now, Buffy? Can we rest?"_

She woke with a start as she heard the words in her head - the words Spike had once said. She sat up and ran a lazy hand through her hair. She glanced at the door of her bedroom. It was closed. Angel must be still sleeping in there. She smiled at the thought. She wanted to be in his arms right now but she thought that he would be too cute to wake.

She glanced at the clock.

_7:00 am. _It was late or early. She didn't know. Whatever. At least she got... like, five hours of sleep and she's alright with that little amount of time.

* * *

><p>"So... what do you want to do tonight?," Angel asked Buffy while they were curled up in the couch eating ice cream.<p>

Buffy shrugged.

"Look, I know it's late but... it doesn't hurt to do something fun. I'm bored and I can feel that so are you."

"Well, yeah. I am bored but I don't know what's a 'fun' thing to do tonight."

Angel looked down. "Do you want to talk?"

"About what?," she asked confusingly.

"That kinda talk we had at the park... earlier today. Do you wanna?," he asked hesitantly. He knew that he broke her heart for telling her that he didn't want to have kids.

"I don't know," Buffy said, looking down at her hands. "I'm not sure if you-"

"Hey," he said, cutting her off. "I think I'm ready to talk about it."

Buffy looked at him with sad eyes. "Are you sure? I mean, I'm not gonna push you to do anything that you don't want to."

Angel took her hand. "I love you," he said, looking into her green eyes.

"I love you."

They smiled at each other.

"Sleep?," Angel asked.

"Yeah. But I have to brush my teeth first."

Angel chuckled. "Okay."

Buffy stood up and headed for the bathroom.

Angel watched her. He smiled. He really loved this girl so much! And he just can't seem to get enough. Now, he was thinking about decisions. He wanted to build a family with her. It's just... he thinks that he's not ready yet. So, he wants to wait for a few more days or months. But then again, he thought, what if he decides at the wrong time?

_Okay, I'm gonna do this. It's better early than never. I want to do it before it's too late for me and for us. Soon. I will, _he thought. Then, he smiled.


	18. Chapter 18: I Think I Want To Marry You

_Four days later..._

_This is it. Once she comes home, I'll ask her to marry me and she'll say yes and make me the happiest man in the world, _Angel thought while smiling happily to himself. He was both nervous and excited about proposing to Buffy. He didn't know how to do it romantically so he'll just do it in a very simple sweet way - get down on his knees, tell her that he loves her, ask her to marry her, put the ring on her finger, get up and kiss her then go to the bedroom and celebrate.

_Yeah, that's good. That'll work, _he thought once again.

Buffy was out getting some food from the grocery. He was asleep then. When he awoke, he saw a note sitting on the bedside table saying that she'll just go out to get some food and that he was to peaceful to wake.

Anyway, he sat down on the couch waiting for Buffy to get home. She was out for almost an hour and Angel was feeling so anxious about what he's going to do.

"Okay. I'll practice first. She's not here yet so..."

He cleared his throat and got on his knees and began to practice.

"Buffy. I, uh, I... You know how much I love you right?," he said then shook his head. "Damn! That's lame. Again, again."

He cleared his throat once again. Taking a deep sigh he tried again.

"Buffy, I-"

He was interrupted by the sound of the door beginning to open.

Buffy.

His eyes widened and he quickly shoved the ring inside his pocket. And sat on the couch casually, trying not to panic. But his heart was beating so fast... and it felt nice to feel it beat.

"Hey," Buffy said once she entered the place.

"Hey!," Angel exclaimed and gave her a hug. "What took you so long?"

"Long line," she explained as she made her way to the kitchen to put the bags of groceries down on the table. She walked back into the living room and sees Angel looking like he saw a ghost. He was looking down at his hands and tapping his feet.

"Hey," Buffy said. "Are you okay, Angel?"

Angel looked up to her and swallowed hard. "Yeah," he breathed the breath he'd been holding since Buffy came home.

Buffy took a step closer to him. "Are you sure you are?"

Angel took a deep breath and told himself that he need to do this. "Buffy."

Buffy just stared at him.

"I need to tell you something," he started.

Buffy started to get nervous. What if Angel didn't want to be with her anymore and decided to go after Ashley? What she was annoying him? What is he didn't really love her? What is he's going to leave her again? _Oh, God, please be a good news._

Angel smiled and knelt in front of her.

Buffy looked down at him with teary eyes. "Are you doing what I think you're going to go?"

"If you're thinking about me asking you to marry me... then yes."

"Angel-"

"Shh. Buffy. I... I love you and I just want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want you to be there for me as I am with you. And you'll make me the happiest man if you marry me." He paused and looked at Buffy straight in the eyes. She was almost crying. "Buffy Summers... will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Buffy hugged Angel and he lifted her body gently. "Oh God, I love you," she mumbled against his neck.

"I love you," Angel said as he hugged Buffy's body. He kissed her shoulder gently.

Buffy pulled away. And looked at his eyes. "You have no idea how much happy I am right now." She kissed his lips gently and then pulled away.

"Come on. I'll give you the ring."

He put Buffy down and pulled the ring out of his pocket. He slid it down on Buffy's finger.

"It's beautiful, Angel." She looked down on the ring. It was silver and simple but she loved it. She frowned. What is this ring was the same ring he used for Ash? No. No. He wouldn't do that, right?

And as if he read her mind, Angel spoke up. "Don't worry. It's new. I chose it especially for you."

"You did?," she asked in a small voice.

Angel smiled. "Yeah. I really did."

Buffy smiled in return.

Now her life's complete.


	19. Chapter 19: A Baby?

_After three months..._

Buffy went back to L.A. with Angel. They finally moved in together because it seemed easier since now that they're already married. Oh, and by the way, they got married last month. It wasn't big it was just the two of them and a preacher. They didn't know where their friends were so it was just the two of them - in a small chapel in L.A., empty seats - and it was perfect for them. It was small but perfect.

They just moved in last month. They both left their past lives in New York and moved on. And now, they're just waiting for better things to come. Life now was a bit hard because neither of them have jobs. But they're doing the best they could to build the prefect family they wanted.

Angel was really happy about the two of them. Now he was here with Buffy, he couldn't wish for a better life. Now he was here sitting on the soft leather couch watching Buffy move in the room. He could notice that she was tensed and feeling uneasy. She was moving from left to right. Angel just watched at her uneasiness.

"Hey, calm down," Angel said as he watched_ his wife_ move around the room. _My wife? Oh, my wife. My beautiful wife. Oh, it sounds so good. It feels great to say that! My. Wife. My. Buffy. Forever. _

Buffy was rubbing her hands together then she hugged herself. "I'm sorry. I- I can't. It's too much pressure."

Angel chuckled. He stood up and hugged her body gently. He kissed her hair. "It's alright. It's normal. We're married and having kids is totally normal. If the test says yes, it's alright. We'll be happy. Okay?"

Buffy looked up to him with soft eyes. "Okay," she said in a small voice. "Just be with me on this."

"Buffy. I'll always be here with you. Whether you need me or not. I'm here."

Buffy bit her lip and kissed him softly on the lips. "Thanks," she said as she pulled away. "Do you wanna - uh - go see it now?"

Angel smiled. "Yeah. Let's go see. And, hey, no worries."

With a smile, Buffy shook her head. "No, sir."

Angel took Buffy's small hand in his larger one and entered the bathroom. He looked at Buffy who was so nervous but excited at the same time. He smiled at her and led her deeper into the room. They went over the sink and there lay the small plastic. "There it is."

Buffy looked at it. She touched it lightly with her fingers. The pink plus sign appeared. Her eyes widened. "Oh, God... I'm pregnant. What?," she said in a small voice.

Angel chuckled and hugged her. "Are you happy?," Angel said with a goofy smile on his face.

Buffy looked at him with a bright smile. "Are you kidding me? I couldn't be any happier."

Angel lifted her small frame and it caused her to giggle. "I love you!"

Buffy chuckled against his neck. "I love you, too."

* * *

><p>And as Buffy wanted it, they celebrated by eating a carton of ice cream. Angel watched in amusement as Buffy took a mouthful of ice cream. He shook his head and smiled.<p>

"Hey, sweetie, slow down," Angel chastised softly.

"Sorry. I'm very hungry," Buffy said. "The baby's hungry, too."

Angel chuckled. Just the sound of that word made him so happy. _Baby. We're having a baby. I'm gonna be a daddy. And Buffy's my beautiful wife. _He reached for Buffy's free hand while she was eating.

Buffy looked at him and smiled softly. She held his hand back. She took a scoop of the ice cream and said, "Do you want some? I don't want to look like a homeless woman who ate ice cream for the first time."

With a nod, Angel opened his mouth and let the spoon of ice cream enter his mouth. "Now that's some delicious ice cream," he mumbled while chewing the cold ice cream.

"I know, right!," Buffy chuckled.

Angel just watched at how happy she was. This was the life he really wanted. And it was perfect. He let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulder and kissed her hair. "I love you."

"I love you," Buffy replied. Then she yawned.

With a smile Angel, caressed her cheek. "Sleepy,dear?"

"Very," she replied in a tired voice. "I wanna sleep. It's not good for me to stay up late. Right?"

"Yeah. Now, come on," Angel carried her and made her giggle.

"Angel! I can walk, you know," she chastised playfully.

He ignored her protest and carried her to the bedroom. He placed her body gently down the bed and looked at her with caring eyes. "Do you mind if I, uh, you know?," he asked coyly.

Buffy smiled. "Go ahead. It's yours, anyway. You have every right."

Taking a deep breath, Angel lifted Buffy's shirt and revealed her stomach. He smiled. His child was growing in there. He lifted his hand and caressed the soft skin with his fingers. He felt a small bump there. He smiled once again. He moved a little bit forward and placed a soft kiss on Buffy's stomach.

Buffy gasped at the sensation. She played with Angel's hair while he was admiring the sight before him.

Then, after placing that kiss, he placed his ear against her stomach and rubbed it with his hand. "Hey, there," he whispered. "Can you here me in there, little one? It's your daddy. Hi."

Buffy looked at Angel. She tried to fight the tears that were threatening to fall. But she couldn't. _Stupid hormone change, _she thought. She sniffed.

Angel's head shot up and paid attention to Buffy. He crawled on the bad right next to her. He held her tiny frame and asked, "Are you alright?"

Buffy nodded as she wiped her teary eyes. "Yeah... Hormones. Like in the movies."

Angel smiled at her and kissed her lips gently. He reached down at Buffy's shirt and covered her stomach. "Sleep. Come on."

They settled on the bed comfortably and held each other while they waited for sleep to come.

With a smile, he looked down on Buffy who was already fast asleep. He kissed her forehead and drifted to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20: Trip To The Doctor

Angel woke up with the sound of Buffy throwing up in the bathroom. He got up from bed, only in his boxers, and hurried to the bathroom. He saw Buffy leaning against the toilet. He watched in worry for a few moments then ran up to her and brushed her back gently. He took some locks of her hair to help her.

"Okay...Okay... You're gonna be alright. Come on. Just a few more," he said.

After a few moments, Buffy gasped for air and she sat against the wall. She ran a hand through her hair and her sweaty face.

Angel held her and tried to kiss her but she pulled away. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I smell like a rotten food, Angel," she explained in a hoarse voice. "Now, help me get up."

Angel did as he was told so he helped her up to her feet and gently led her to the sink.

"You can go now," Buffy said coyly. "Please?"

Angel chuckled and said, "Yeah. Sure...I, uh, I understand." He placed a kiss on her forehead before heading out.

When Angel had already left, she brushed her teeth and gargled a mouthwash. Damn, her breath smelled like garbage! And she hated it. She wasn't used to throwing up early in the morning. This has just been happening for a few weeks so she's really not into it. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes widened. She looked so haggard from all the throwing up. She washed her face gently with cool water. She gave out a sigh of relief and wiped her face with a soft clean cloth.

She returned to the bedroom to see Angel sitting with clasped hands, looking down at the floor, biting his lip. His head shot up as he saw Buffy come out of the bathroom. He ran up to her and hugged her.

"Are you alright?," he asked softly while caressing her cheek.

Buffy pressed her cheek against his palm, closed her eyes and nodded. "Yeah. Fine now." Then she kissed his wrist gently.

Angel looked down at her and carefully carried her tiny frame. Buffy giggled at the action. She wasn't expecting it but she didn't protest. So she just held on to his husband.

She blushed. _Husband. My husband. Angel. Sounds good, doesn't it? I love this man, _she thought as Angel carefully laid her down on the bed. He sat down besides her while she snuggled under the pillows and let the comfort take over her. She closed her eyes.

Angel watched her then brushed her hair with his fingers.

Buffy blushed when she heard her stomach grumble. She groaned deep in her chest and carefully sat up while Angel helped her.

"Hungry?," Angel asked.

"Starving, honey. Let's go eat," she said as she grabbed Angel's hand and dragged him into the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Buffy watched Angel eat his food. She smiled at the sight of him eating like a child. Then she looked down on her stomach. She rubbed it gently, reminding herself that a life was actually growing there. Now, she didn't notice Angel looking at her.<p>

He smiled. "Hey," he said.

Buffy looked up at him. "What?"

"Nothing. I just... saw you rubbing your tummy," he said.

"Well, it's pretty unbelievable but I believe it. It's like I can feel it in there."

Angel cleared his throat. "Do you want to, uh, go to the hospital and see a doctor?"

Buffy gaped at him.

"Look, I know you _hate_ hospitals but it's actually a good idea to see a doctor. Just to see if you're doing well on the pregnancy. I mean... we don't even know how far long you are."

Buffy sighed and gave up. "Fine."

"Good. That's good. So... you wanna go now? I know it's early but you know, better early than never," Angel suggested.

"Okay. Yeah. Good. Whatever," Buffy said.

Angel sighed and rolled his eyes. "Don't just 'whatever' the situation here, sweetie. Okay? I care about you. I care about our baby and its health," he explained firmly.

"Wow. Now that's more like it," she said. "You're really into this, huh?"

Angel reached across the table and held her hand. He looked in her eyes. "I really am. And should you."

"I am into this!," Buffy said. "I already love this baby as much as you do." Then she rubbed her stomach, feeling the small bump, and smiled.

"You do?," Angel asked.

"Are you kidding me? Of course I do! I always wanted this for us why wouldn't I love it?," she said with a raised voice and while standing up. Now, she was panting.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that," he apologized softly.

Buffy closed her eyes and sighed. She rubbed her forehead. "Me too. Stupid hormones."

She sat back down, avoiding Angel's eyes in embarrassment. She didn't mean to go all bonkers on him. It was the hormones - and she blames them for her mixed emotions.

After a few moments of silence... Angel decided to break the ice.

"So... you wanna go now?"

Buffy looked at him with soft eyes. She smiled and nodded silently.

* * *

><p>Buffy lied nervously on the examination table.<p>

"It's okay, Buffy. There's nothing to be afraid of," Dr. Aldrin said.

Buffy nodded and smiled at her. Dr. Aldrin was really friendly and there was no need to be afraid of her.

"You can hold her hand, you know," the Doctor told Angel who was just looking down.

"Uh, yeah. Of course," he said while smiling. Then he held Buffy's hand once she was lying down.

"Okay, ready?," Dr. Aldrin asked.

"Yeah, I guess," Buffy said.

"Alright. Let's get started then. Is this your first pregnancy?"

"Yeah. Very first and I'm _very_ nervous about it," she said.

Dr. Aldrin chuckled lightly at her. "There's no need to be nervous if you're careful, dear."

"I know. But I'm just really nervous. I'll be careful but I'm still nervous."

"It's normal for pregnant women to feel like that," Dr. Aldrin said. "I'm going to put the gel on your belly okay? This is gonna be a little cold."

Buffy nodded. She flinched a little when she felt the cool gel drop on her belly. The Doctor started to rub her belly with that 'thing.' She didn't know what it was called but it was moving around her belly.

"Oh, look at that," Dr. Aldrin started as she looked at the screen of the monitor.

Buffy and Angel's eyes drifted to the screen too. They looked at it and they were in awe.

"Wow," said Buffy. "I can barely see it."

"Me too. Is everything alright in there?," Angel asked.

"Yeah. As you can see the baby is still the size of a hand. Approximately about the size of Buffy's hand. And as far as I can tell, you're on your first trimester of pregnancy."

"Really?," asked Buffy. She was surprised. She was three months pregnant and she had no idea. "Wow. Didn't see that coming."

"Well, you're not going to feel it at first. It will take time to bring changes to your body functions. No need to worry," the Doctor explained.

"Can we tell what the sex of the baby is?," Angel decided to cut in.

Dr. Aldrin looked closer at the screen. "Nope. Not yet. Not until the fourth or fifth month. It's too hard to tell right now that it still looks like a blur. So I need you guys to go back here a month from now. Okay?"

The couple before her nodded.

She smiled at them. "You two seem like a very nice couple."

Angel and Buffy looked at each other. Then they turned to the Doctor.

"Thanks," said Angel while smiling.

Dr. Aldrin smiled once again. "You can go change now, dear. I'll give you those famous tiny Polaroid pictures from the tests after you change."

* * *

><p>Buffy and Angel sat down on their couch, holding each other while staring at the tiny photo in Angel's hand.<p>

"He's beautiful," Buffy whispered.

"He?," he said looking at Buffy gently.

Buffy shrugged. "Just assuming. I always wanted a boy but a girl's good too."

"Why a boy?," Angel asked.

"I just think it would be awesome if he looked just like you."

Angel chuckled and kissed her lips gently. "We're gonna be a family," he said softly against her lips.


	21. Chapter 21: Sorry

Buffy woke up.

She covered herself with the thin cloth of the blanket when she sat up. She looked at her husband who was peacefully sleeping. She smiled and kissed his lips slowly so he wouldn't wake up.

They made love last night. Angel said that it would be good if they had an epic celebration.

_And it was epic. _

She grabbed his shirt which was lying in front of her. She put the shirt on and headed to the bathroom when she felt her stomach churn.

_Morning sickness._

Yes. It was a bitch.

* * *

><p>After ten minutes of throwing up, she was exhausted. She sat on the cold floor of the bathroom after she brushed her teeth. She hugged her knees and buried her head between them.<p>

That was when at that moment, Angel woke up with the feeling that Buffy wasn't there. He glanced at the bathroom door and it was open. He grabbed his boxers and headed to the bathroom to see his wife leaning against the cold walls of the room.

He sighed and sat beside her. He held her and she held onto him. He ran a hand through her blonde locks and kissed them softly as he whispered soothing words in her ear. "Come on," he said as he lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom.

He gently lied her down on the bed and watched her snuggle in her pillow. He caressed her soft cheek and pinched it slightly.

Buffy smiled and blushed. Angel was so sweet to her and she loved it so much. She turned to look at him and sticked her tongue out at him playfully.

Angel chuckled at her naughtiness. Then he pinched her cheek softly again and leaned closer to kiss it.

Buffy looked away and blushed.

Angel smiled at her shyness. "Hey, you don't have to be shy around me, Buffy. You're my wife now remember?," he said.

"Well, it's not bad to blush right?," she said sheepishly.

* * *

><p>Buffy and Angel sat on the couch curled up with each other because at this time of day, there was nothing to do. It was boring.<p>

Buffy was looking at the screen pretty seriously. She seemed to be having fun, though. No one's too old for cartoons.

On the other hand, Angel was just sitting there, rubbing Buffy's stomach non stop. He thought that it was so nice too feel that bump right there, reminding himself that his baby was growing in there. He continued to stare at the soft skin. He smiled and leaned down to kiss it.

Buffy flinched then smiled. She grabbed a lock from Angel's hair while he was leaning against her stomach. She loved it when Angel does that. He was so sweet and she can't get enough of him.

"You talking to him?," Buffy said in a small voice.

Angel's head shot up at her. He smiled. "Yeah. It feels nice. I just hope it can hear me."

Buffy shrugged. "We don't know. But, hey, it'd be cool if it did hear you."

"Can you feel it move around?"

Buffy placed her hand over her stomach and started to rub small circles. "Sometimes. I know it's small but I can feel it in there. It's so amazing, Angel. I didn't expect this day to come. I never did. And I never thought that I'd see you again."

"I thought I'd never see you again either. But, hey, we have each other now and that's great. We don't have to think about how long we have been apart. What's important is that you're here and I'm here. And I love you," he said softly.

"I love you. This is great," Buffy said.

Angel nodded. "I know. I'm so thankful for all of this. I'm so happy that I found you again. After all these years... I'm so guilty that I didn't want to run to you when I became human. It was hard, I want you to know. It wasn't easy for me to be away from you. And it wasn't easy for you either. Call it even."

Buffy chuckled. "Alright. I'll call it even. Can I eat?"

"You just ate your breakfast," he said.

Buffy shrugged. "I'm pregnant! I heard an information somewhere that pregnant women have lots and lots of cravings so I'm gonna be hungry all the time."

"Okay. Alright. We'll get you something to eat," he said. Then he gave Buffy a quick kiss and headed to the kitchen.

Buffy watched him move around. She smiled gratefully. Then she place her hand on her stomach and looked down at it.

Her life is going to be great.

A loving husband and a baby on the way.

She's never been happier in her life.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm so bad at this. I'll probably make another one. Sorry. I think that's the end of it. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER.<strong>

**end. Really sorry. I'll make another one. I swear. **


	22. Chapter 22: Liam

_After 6 months..._

Buffy and Angel welcomed their baby boy: Liam. Buffy decided to name their baby Liam because, well, obviously, it was Angel's birth name. They were so happy and no words can express how much they loved their child.

* * *

><p>Liam cooed against Buffy neck as he sucked his tiny thumb. Buffy giggled and carefully laid Liam in their bed. "Hey, baby," she whispered.<p>

Liam cooed once again and Buffy smiled. He was so cute. He looked like his father so much. Those dark eyes and that dark hair... She always wanted that for a baby boy of hers and now her dreams just came true. Liam started to wiggle his arms and legs while he was laughing.

Buffy laughed along with him. Then she carried him and brought him to her chest as she kissed the baby's huge forehead. That was another thing he got from Angel.

"Hey," Angel said through the door. He was carrying a bottle of milk for Liam. He walked to the bed and sat beside his wife. He gave the nipple to Liam and he took it with no hesitation. He smiled and hugged Buffy and kissed her hair. "He's beautiful."

"I know. He looks just like you," Buffy whispered as she rubbed Liam's tummy while he was sucking the nipple of the bottle that Angel was holding for him.

"Do you want another one of those?," Angel asked.

Buffy laughed. "Maybe two or three years from now, honey. We'll have to wait."

"Alright. I can take it," Angel said as he kissed his wife hungrily on the lips. Moments later, Liam burped causing the couple to pull away. They giggled.

Buffy carried Liam close to her chest and rubbed his back. Then she kissed his ear. That cute tiny ear of Liam's. It caused Liam to gurgle. Buffy smiled and giggled. She loved it when he cooed and gurgled. That's normal for a baby but it's so cute!

Angel joined in and hugged his family. He kissed Liam's head and his wife's lips. "I love you," he murmured against her lips.

"I love you."

* * *

><p><strong>Okay. END. <strong>

** requested for one last chapter. Here you go. :) **


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